"They ain't been through the things I've been through.."

Amaaaaaal kata to move on, i kene carik lagu that suit me and yeah him. I think I found it! :o

But it's kinda boring :( damn it.

Everything is a beginning,

19.11.2010.

5.39 pm.

I'm single.

True. I'm single. I'm no longer belong to him. He is now call a friend just like you. He is no longer the guy who I think of each and every sec. But he will always be the guy who used to stole my heart and made me happy. Made me laugh. Made me a better person. Awesomely, the guy who will always stays just a inch next to my heart :')

I'm happy & I'm sad. Both. I'm quiet happy because I will no longer have to suffer the pain feeling that I felt before. I will never cried because of him every night. I will never get worried if he loves me or not. I will never get jealous of who he talks to. I will never feel not myself again. I will never have to worry a single thing about this relationship.

But what I'm sad is I will no longer be called as his girlfriend. I will never get the chance to say 'I love you' to him. I will never get to give him sweet texts. I will never get to hold his hand again. I will never be the girl who he belongs to. I will never be the girl who he call names. I will never have the dream of keeping him till the end. Mostly, I will never be the girl who owns his heart :'(

But all of this I know have wisdom behind it. So I shall stay positive and happy. I will not get this break up thing get to me. I need strength and I will find one. I will. Hopefully :)

"If we are meant to be together, then fate shall find us back one day"

I will always love him. No matter what. Just like I promised ♥

"Drop everything now
Meet me in the pouring rain
Kiss me on the sidewalk
Take away the pain"
♥

I swear they are awesome! :o

Hahahahahah comel bebenor dye ni x) ♥

Daripada I pikir negative, lebih baik pkir positive kan? :)

I'm think positive from now on. God bless me ♥ hahaha.

Kalau ada jodoh tak kemane.

Tadi I bosan la kan, so I tgk lah vampire diaries. Officially it was awesome. Stefan my baby ada kot. Mesti la kannnn. Hihi :')

Anyways, the ending hm... obviously it was a part about stefan and elena. Hm it made me think about you know who. It made me realise how much I love him. Mcm gile kot and I don't think i'm brave or strong enough to break with him. It's just too painful. I love this relationship. I love him.

I don't know if i'm thinking straight about this break. I don't know :L But I just can't handle the problem of 'us'. I just don't think it's working. Your in college and i'm in high school. We have different mind and thoughts. You think further and I don't. For christ sake, we don't even know each other's favourite things. The most unbelievable thing is that I feel like your a stranger.I no nothing about you. Truth, I do know some things but it's pretty much what other people know. I don't know any secrets or speciality about you. I bukan taknak tanye but I entah, I keep thinking it will bore you. See what I mean, you and I don't really suit. we are not the perfect match. I can't even be myself around you.

I seriously need two of my bestfriends & you know who you are :s I want him but i'm just not strong enough.

Too tired to hold on, yes true.

but too in love to let go. Hm? Let me think that for a million times.

The day I stop crying for you is the day I will not want you to be my boyfriend.

and I think it's coming soon. So be prepared :L

This song is playing in my head every sec. It's so catchy ♥

together we are awesome,

HAHAHAHHAHAHAHA tadi kan, after we watched this one show call Ramsay Kitchen whatsoever la kan, it was a competition between an english restaurant and an indian restaurant. Blahblahblah pastu indian menang la kan. n then there was this one point, makcik india ni cakap "thank you very much" in an indian accent.Ahhhh u know how it sounds la kan? Then my parents and me started to laugh. hahahhahaha it was funny and we started to mimic them x) Tau kejam tapi lawakkkkk!

Hahahahhaahah kecoh satu rumah cakap accent india ♥ :D

To school and brent cross we go..

Sooooooooooooo harini I had Academic Review Day around 10.30 pagi td. I brought my mom along. I thought of asking my dad to join us but he was kinda busy at his office. So nvm la kan. We arrived at school 5 minutes late. Luckily someone was still there talking to miss. PHEW. Pastu borak borak blahblablah la kan pasal grade n damn, I'm happy! Miss said awesome things about me to my mom. Siap ada perkataan "blossom" lagi tau :P haha. So then miss P took out my previous grade from last year and compared it to the new one. YEAY, i've improved a lot! A LOOOOOOOOOT! hihi i'm happy as well as my mom. Oh oh and my mom also said to miss P that I study a lot and i'm more commited to my studies now which is true. HIHI o:)

Pastu pastu kannnnn, dah habis tu I show lah my mom this one boy that I think is cute. I asked my mom's opinion and yeah, she agreed. Hihi! Love you mommy ♥ xD

Then after dah finish+ keluar skolah, we went to Brent Cross. Wahhhhhh! I was kinda suprised. My mom was buying+ letting me buy things that I want but somehow I felt bad, so I refused. But ada satu benda ni, I didn't want to buy it. I refused but then my mom ask me to take it. So I HAD to took it. hihi. Like seriously. OHMYGODDD :o My mom is amazing. Hahahah.

So to conclude, today I got two pairs of Bra's from La Senza, loads of school stationary, a set of blusher from Boots and.... a smarties Mcflurry! Wuhuuuuu ♥ Hahahha i know, it's not exciting stuffs :P oh yeah btw, can u see I DIDN'T EVEN BOUGHT ANY CLOTHES. I'm such an amzing person. Haha. In fact, I haven't gone shopping for... around 2 months and a half kot. Yeah that is how awesome I am :)

Kay I think i'm going to bed now. I'm hell tired. Nights to myself ♥ :)

WHY DO SOME BOYs HAVE TO BE SO PATHETIC?

MENYAMPAH -.-

I want this! Every girl does. Don't deny it.

saya.tak.boleh.tidur.

I'm currently addicted to couple photos.

This all because of how much I freaking miss my baby.

The photos makes it all better somehow.

It doesn't make me sad.

Weird much?

The girls one is absolute right but idk about boys. Hopefully it is?

Hm, I'm officially dedicating this to myself :P

B nak ni! B nak ni! HAHAHHA psycho x)

"Love is like a war, easy to start, hard to end,

and impossible to forget."

Because God create you to be one. Betul tak? ♥

UWHHHHH ! I WANT ONE OF THISSSSS! CAN I CAN I? :D ♥

B,

I can't get you out of my mind, B.

Okay, this has nothing to do with amir. It's about some sixth former at my school. I seriously like you, B. Fyi, B stands for Banana. Haha long story :p

Anyways, I think I have a serious crush on you lah. I'm not even lying. It's been kinda long since I first set my eyes on you. Your face is just amazing. It's addicted.Hihi. I want you badly. Every time I see your cute face in school, I smiled over the moon! Even my heart skips a beat :') I wish we knew each other and we would actually talk to each other. I know all of that is just a dream but please God, help me. Damn damn damn, I want you! :o hahahaha omg, i've gone crazy. Creepy-.-

Kay move on, so technically somehow la kan, this guy call B ni reminds me of I. Like seriously. It makes me miss I more. Well, a bit lah. A bit. Somehow jugak kan, I like that type of face. Haha it's hilarious. Those face just make me go hyper. Damn, nak satu :( Haha.

anyways to conclude, I'm officially undeniably amazingly have a big huge crush on you :s

Like a ghost I will disappear,

Life sucks.

Well, to be precise it's me who pretty much sucks. I suck. Yes. I do. I suck at happiness. I suck making people happy. I suck at everything. Well, not everything. obviously. okay move on. So yesterday,I cried my heart out before going to bed. Listen to my playlist and tears fall down. Typical emotional night. Hm. Obviously, it's for the same reason and this reason shall never change. God knows when am I going to cry again :l It made me think what's the use of boyfriend if he's not there to comfort and make you feel good? Where is he when I need him? HE SUPPOSE TO BE THERE WHEN I CRY. But nah, the distance NEED to be the wall in between. I hate this. I somtimes think i'm strong. Not an excellent one but yeah, I am tough. You may not think that but I like to keep that word in my mind. Every sec.

Move on again. So yesterday I cried because of friends, boyfriends, families and importantly life. I like to say it's all because of stress. I'm handling too much. I have to think about studies, boyfriend, families, friends and more harder, the distance. I cry because I think it's the best way. I have no one to tell. Not even friends. They are far away. My sisters are pretty much far away too. So yeah, no one. All of this is making me unhappy. Lately, my mood are SHIT. es hesh ai tee, i tell you. I've become an emo person. Yeay me :s

Boyfriend. Now, I've set something in my mind. It's sort of a quote but not exactly a quote. Yes. pretty rubbish english. Whatevs. So the quote is "I will not be scared if you left me but doesn't mean I would not care". So technically, I don't mind him leaving me. Sebab I think selagi tak masuk college, there's a chance of me getting a new perfect one. That I will actually be myself around. I sometimes rasa nak break up je dgn amir. He.... hm I don't know how to describe. Okay safe to say that he's nice and everything but this relationship, from my opinion, is not going anywhere. To me it's like, two people who are pretending to be in love just to safe this relationship. Yupp, there I said it. Fuck this. I'm gonna stop.

I'm wasting my time by blogging this. No one akan read pon. I'm putting it on private. But the main point is I decided and it's muktamad that I need to disappear. No more facebook. No more skype. No more internet stuff except Google :) If they miss me, they shall find a way to contact me. If they don't, I shall just be happy with the life I have here. It's amazing :l